


Gladio 0, Reaper 1

by Eravalefantasy



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Gen, Movie Night, Silly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-20
Updated: 2018-06-20
Packaged: 2019-05-26 01:18:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,663
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14989595
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eravalefantasy/pseuds/Eravalefantasy
Summary: Movie night. Prompto and Noctis attempt to beat a standing challenge: find a chip so hot that Gladio can't handle.





	Gladio 0, Reaper 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a silly one shot, no implied ships or seriousness. A night out that gets a little heated thanks to a bag of Reaper Madness potato chips

Movie night. The only thing the four of them never argued about was where to have it.

Gladio’s place was out, unless they wanted to pick something sappy that Iris would approve of and then have to deal with her talking through the entire movie.  Ignis’ apartment was another bust; he’d spend more time working than anything else. Prompto could never be sure if his parents would be away or not, and even then, crowding into his small bedroom meant wading through piles of stuff on the floor. That left Noctis’ apartment.

They always divided the responsibilities; it prevented hours of long arguments and it usually helped to assign the right task to the right person.  

Gladiolus picked the movie but was forced to follow a rotation devised by Ignis, knowing Gladio’s preference for two hour long plotless explosions or horror films, it kept their options open.

Ignis took care of the pizzas and beverages, he knew the tastes of each and always planned it perfectly, and taking great care to double up on Gladio’s preferred choices. 

Prompto and Noctis pulled snack duty if for no other reason than to guarantee each could have their chosen favorites on hand. Noctis had a knack for finding the strangest or most intensely flavored snacks; the long standing goal was simple: find something so harsh that Gladio couldn’t eat it.

The shop a few blocks from Noct’s apartment had the best selection, and despite Ignis' warning to wait for him, a pair of sunglasses and a baseball cap seemed a reasonable disguise. Prompto disagreed.

“Dude. You still look like you. We can wait for Iggy.”  Prompto sat on the stoop looking at his phone. “He’s like minutes away.”

Noctis scoffed. “I’m tired of waiting. Besides all Specs is going to do is stand there and say  _ ‘Noct, I believe we have enough junk food to last until the end of the world, put it back.’  _ . Let’s just go, no one will recognize me.”

Laughing, Prompto shook his head. “Oh yeah, you’re a ghost.”

“You’re such a nerd. Come on.”

Before they could head out, a black sedan pulled up to the curb. The window lowered revealing Ignis’ pointed stare. “I see you couldn’t wait. Mind the bags if you would.”

Prompto climbed into the back seat. “Hey Iggy, what’s with all the stuff?” Digging through the canvas shopping bags, Prompto pulled out various vegetables. Eyes widening, he tapped Noctis on the shoulder waiting for him to turn around.

“What?” Noctis didn’t bother to turn around.

Ignis responded first. “I thought we might try a healthier alternative to your usual junk food this evening.”

“Not funny, Specs. You and Gladio can drag your pizzas through the vegetable aisle, but there is no way I’m sitting through another one of your weird movies without chips.”

A sigh from the back seat preceded Prompto’s complaint. “Aww man, seriously? Didn’t we just watch one of those? There’s such good stuff out, too.”

Ignis said little to Prompto’s complaint, parking the car at the curb. “Noct, please limit your choices.”

“You got it,” Noctis said, asking Prompto to come along, “we’ll be right back.”

The two hurried to the snack aisle, checking the current flavors, Prompto hugging a single bag of cheese puffs to his chest.

“Really, Prompto? That orange stuff gets all over everything.” Noctis made a grab for the bag, but missed as Prompto snatched it away in time.

“Don’t mess with my puffs, Dude. Seriously.  There are many like it, but this bag is mine.”

With a roll of his eyes Noctis returned to the shelves. “Whatever, you’re obsessed.”  He hummed as he read the flavors. “Ketchup is too boring, this one says spicy barbecue, have we tried that one?”

Prompto scratched his head. “Yeah, we did last time, remember? Gladio said it was-”

Noctis remembered joining Prompto, the two finished Gladio’s assessment in unison. “A mild, timid entry suitable for small children.”  

Noctis continued. “All right, this time we get him good.”

Handing Noctis’ preferred flavored corn chips to Prompto, the two moved on to the next section. The bright red, orange and yellow bags all screamed their warnings. Prompto pointed to two bags. “Check it out! Reaper Madness, hottest chip ever manufactured. You’ve been warned.” The red bag had a simple design, a skeleton carrying a long scythe. The one sitting next to it claimed the same, emblazoned with a fire engulfed meteor streaking across the front of an orange and yellow bag.

“Nice,” Noctis said, grabbing the two bags and adding one more plain potato chip bag for good measure. “Maybe we should get another. If the movie sucks, Gladio is just going to stuff his face to pass the time.”

l-l-l

Half eaten pizzas rested in open boxes everywhere. Despite Ignis’ best efforts, empty bottles littered the coffee table, rather than the bags he’d set aside for trash. An hour in to Ignis’ movie request, Gladio had seen enough, the dark humor seemed to pass right over Prompto and Noct and every so often one or both wanted the plot explained.

“Sorry Iggy, I’m calling this a bust. I can’t stand these two whiners bitching every five minutes. We’ll save this for another time,” Gladio said. “Here, I found that anime you wanted, Noct. I had to buy it, but what the hell.”

The disinterested stupor that claimed him quickly dissolved into excitement.  “No way! They had it?” Gladio tossed the sealed package over to Noct’s eager hands.

Ignis shook his head. “Dare I ask the title of this monstrosity?”

“Sword of the Titan’s Grave: Retribution.” Noctis shook Prompto. “Prom! Check it out! We’ve been trying to get this for weeks!”

Gladio stretched and grinned. “Yeah? Well, I know a guy. So, let’s ditch this thing,” he shrugged toward Ignis. “Sorry Iggy.”

“If it means that much to Noct, then I suppose a change is in order.”

A quick cleanup and reorganization took place while Gladio switched the discs. Once everything was set, he tapped his foot. “Did you two forget something? Come on Noct, snacks.”

“Yeah, yeah.“ Trudging into the kitchen, Noctis grabbed the bags of chips, tossing Prompto his bag first, but Gladio intercepted it.

“Hey! Give it back!” Prompto reached for the bag while Gladio held it out of reach.

“So Prompto, eventually you’ll stop cutting the crusts off your bread too, right? You’re such a kid,” he said tossing the bag toward Prompto’s waiting hands.

Prompto’s protective grip held the cheese puffs close glaring at Gladio. “Hey Noct! Didn’t we get something special for Gladio?”

Noctis smirked, reaching into one bag. “Why yes Prompto, we certainly did.” The flaming meteor bag sailed toward Gladio.

“Oh yeah, these,” Gladio shrugged, “they’re all right, but a little on the mild side. Got any more?”

Not willing to give in, Prompto  urged Noctis without words. The nod and pointed stare issued the challenge.  _ Pull out the big guns. _

With a wink at Prompto and the second bag in his hand, Noctis held up their secret weapon. “Only the hottest chips ever manufactured. You in?”

Clapping his hands once, Gladio gestured for Noctis to toss the chip bag. “Oh hell yes, now we’re talking. Give it here.”  The flaming red bag was smaller than the average. “A little small isn’t it?”

“Careful Gladio,” Ignis warned, “the two of them were clearly conspiring in the car. These may be too much for even you.”

Gladio returned to the couch, and opened the bag, inhaling the aroma. He sneezed several times. “This is gonna be good,” he said before reaching inside and grabbing a handful to the wide grins of both Prompto and Noctis.

Ignis peered over at the two. “You both are far too pleased with yourselves and so I will say this. There is a carton of milk in the refrigerator should whatever these two have cooked up prove too much.”

In between bites, Gladio assured Ignis he’d be fine and started the second movie.

Despite Noct’s excitement when the movie started, both he and Prompto spent the first hour of the movie glancing back at Gladio. When neither saw any reaction, they had to concede Gladio had beaten the Reaper chips after all and shifted their attention to the movie, disappointed.

Still hungry, Gladio considered rummaging through the leftover pizza. The chips had a bit of a kick to them, but no burn.  He’d yet to find anything that could knock him on his ass. 

A few minutes later, the burn that hadn’t hit him right away started in the back of his throat, a minor irritation that built slowly. Gladio coughed a few times. His eyes watered. A few seconds more and his nose started to run. A few sniffles later he stood, the burn in his throat forcing him to clear his throat. “Shit,” he said, moving toward the sink.

Prompto and Noctis stopped watching the movie trading glances, Noctis standing first. “Hey Gladio, are you. .  .are you okay?”

Gladio waved Noctis’ concern away, but chugged glass after glass of water. When he tried to talk, he coughed instead. Ignis’ concern lifted him to his feet, his voice stern. 

“Water will only intensify the burn, Gladio; the milk carton is on the top shelf.”  The coughing intensified, and Gladio nodded.

“Noct,” Prompto’s half whisper carried all of Noctis' concern as well, “I think we killed Gladio.”

The two moved closer, watching Gladio rummage through the refrigerator, pulling out a carton of milk. Without bothering to grab a glass, he popped open the container and downed the milk, white rivulets of the soothing liquid streaming from the sides, spilling onto his tank. He shook the carton to check if it was empty, wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and belched. “Damn.”

“Gladio?” Noctis took another step closer.

Taking a deep breath, Gladio exhaled and coughed again. He turned and grinned at the two. “Great job, guys. Got any more?”

**Author's Note:**

> All my thanks to the fabulous group on fb The Gladiolus Appreciation Fan Page!!!!


End file.
